sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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