and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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