I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize