Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
