there was a trapeze. enough said
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
