She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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