If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
