I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
