do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
