Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i dont even know how to be here
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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