were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
