you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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