So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
