Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone shattered a urinal.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
