Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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