1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
