Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
