some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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