forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
