i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
