On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
