Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
