The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
