i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize