4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
