She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
