yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
