Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
