oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
