This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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