bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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