I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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