I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
