he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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