margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
