Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
