i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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