You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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