Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
