Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
