she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
