Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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