Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
