They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
