when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
