Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
