I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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