Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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