He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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