We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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