There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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