Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
