his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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