dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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