So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
