I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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