Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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