I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In other news, I just burned my penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
