it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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