my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
