I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
