Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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